We closed his eyes. Aaron kissed his forehead. Mom held his hand. Aaron folded Dad's hands across his chest and placed a lit candle between them. This morning we bathed him in lavender oil and his body was taken. His spirit was already free.
Flying, soaring. Over the mountains of Glacier National Park, through the arches and above the timeless rivers that wind through the Canyon Lands, he sat on the boulders on Old Rag, he flew through the sparkling lights of Paris at night, he sat in the light of stained glass windows at Chartres Cathedral, raced a train carrying cargo through the tunnels of the Rockies, he kissed you on your forehead, a goodnight/good morning/good afternoon/good life kiss, you are blessed. We are blessed to have had such an extraordinary man as our father, husband, brother, uncle, cousin, best friend, loyal companion, strong partner, and love-filled soul mate.
He was with us then and is with us now and always. Watch for his guidance. Delight in life, the way he always did.
We miss him terribly, but we are strong. We are reminiscing, adjusting, praying, loving, and we will work on healing. At this time, we do not have anything planned for a memorial service, we will let everyone know when we have some of the details. What we would like most at this time is your prayer and emails/blog posts are great. Answering if the phone is not as easy for us yet.
We love you all terribly. Thank you for your support through life and through this experience.
We have included a poem written by Shanna and other notes from us below. Please feel free to add to it.
Our Love - the Petties
Friday, September 25, 2009
Hands - Poem by Shanna
Hands
September 12, 2009
I sit next to the lazy boy chair where he feels most comfortable
Holding hands,
I’m looking at our wedding rings- too thin to stay round or smooth when they adorn such busy hands.
Our hands –
Encouraging hands pulling each other up mountains, up to rooftops, up cathedral towers, to wherever the eagle’s perspective, physical and metaphysical, could be found;
My words will be beautiful, O Spirit, as I walk the beauty trail.
Steadying hands for crossing all the rushing streams with tippy rocks, up to, in, over and through waterfalls, then stopping and breathing in the happiness- charged ions;
Filling up and spilling over, it’s an endless waterfall.
Playful hands doing cross-body and pretzel leads with special finger holds – little signals to make me spin one way or the other across the dance hall, the living room rug, the kitchen floor, the asphalt driveway in front of the church for the fund-raiser, the concrete plaza beneath the twin towers, the straw-covered grass in the pig tent at the county fair dance demo, on the French street where the band played oldies under the stars;
All the world was our dance floor.
Encouraging hands helping our children learn to walk, to write, to throw, to do somersaults, to play music, to use a hammer, to drive a tractor, to check the oil, to ride a bike, to fill in an account book, to draw building plans, to massage away stress, to reach out to those needing help climbing their mountains;
To everything there is season.
Clapping hands in appreciation for anyone who had the courage to perform, for Katheryn singing, for Aaron in the drama club, for Seth dancing in Hello Dolly, for street musicians and artists, for handicapped kids in the camp talent show, for any kid who achieved a goal;
This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine.
Preparing hands –trailers, vans being readied for how many thousands of miles of adventures, packing flashlights, tools, a change of underwear, lots of food, a pile of kids and inflatable inner tubes- off we go. We never tired of heartland farmhouses , snow-covered mountains, beautiful architecture, fascinating science and history museums, and warm homes of welcoming friends.
Just can’t wait to get on the road again.
Healing hands easing childbirth pain, rubbing feet when parents were sick, kneeding the devil-knots in shoulders, relaxing necks of all of our guests and friends whenever they sat near, believing in the power of loving intention;
It is in giving that we receive.
Building hands, calloused by hammers, drills, nail-guns, mat knives, wrenches, chisels, saws – as we renovated and built houses, work teams and community. When you whistle and sing any happy medley of songs, no job is too hard;
Behold how good and pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together-in unity.
Planting hands plying shovels, cane knives and buckets of water as we transformed raw land into landscapes. Watching nature miraculously turn seeds and sticks into flowers and fruit, palms and papayas, shade and sustenance;
Praise for them springing fresh from the Word!
Learning hands accessing I-university podcasts about economics, Eckhart Tolle, astronomy, engineering, history, biology, investment, natural healing, and goofy candid camera pranks. Learning by doing-to repair, to build, to manage problems by thinking outside-the-box;
You are the potter, I am the clay.
Praying hands, being fully present in this moment, clasped in the hands of family, expressing appreciation, security, comfort; feeling Christ through earthly hands held in love;
Where there is charity and unconditional love, there is God
Connecting hands gratefully in circles of friends - at our wedding, at our dining table, at our picnics on beaches, mountaintops, flower covered knolls, in churches, on roofs;
Any place was a good place to remember
No man is an island.
September 12, 2009
I sit next to the lazy boy chair where he feels most comfortable
Holding hands,
I’m looking at our wedding rings- too thin to stay round or smooth when they adorn such busy hands.
Our hands –
Encouraging hands pulling each other up mountains, up to rooftops, up cathedral towers, to wherever the eagle’s perspective, physical and metaphysical, could be found;
My words will be beautiful, O Spirit, as I walk the beauty trail.
Steadying hands for crossing all the rushing streams with tippy rocks, up to, in, over and through waterfalls, then stopping and breathing in the happiness- charged ions;
Filling up and spilling over, it’s an endless waterfall.
Playful hands doing cross-body and pretzel leads with special finger holds – little signals to make me spin one way or the other across the dance hall, the living room rug, the kitchen floor, the asphalt driveway in front of the church for the fund-raiser, the concrete plaza beneath the twin towers, the straw-covered grass in the pig tent at the county fair dance demo, on the French street where the band played oldies under the stars;
All the world was our dance floor.
Encouraging hands helping our children learn to walk, to write, to throw, to do somersaults, to play music, to use a hammer, to drive a tractor, to check the oil, to ride a bike, to fill in an account book, to draw building plans, to massage away stress, to reach out to those needing help climbing their mountains;
To everything there is season.
Clapping hands in appreciation for anyone who had the courage to perform, for Katheryn singing, for Aaron in the drama club, for Seth dancing in Hello Dolly, for street musicians and artists, for handicapped kids in the camp talent show, for any kid who achieved a goal;
This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine.
Preparing hands –trailers, vans being readied for how many thousands of miles of adventures, packing flashlights, tools, a change of underwear, lots of food, a pile of kids and inflatable inner tubes- off we go. We never tired of heartland farmhouses , snow-covered mountains, beautiful architecture, fascinating science and history museums, and warm homes of welcoming friends.
Just can’t wait to get on the road again.
Healing hands easing childbirth pain, rubbing feet when parents were sick, kneeding the devil-knots in shoulders, relaxing necks of all of our guests and friends whenever they sat near, believing in the power of loving intention;
It is in giving that we receive.
Building hands, calloused by hammers, drills, nail-guns, mat knives, wrenches, chisels, saws – as we renovated and built houses, work teams and community. When you whistle and sing any happy medley of songs, no job is too hard;
Behold how good and pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together-in unity.
Planting hands plying shovels, cane knives and buckets of water as we transformed raw land into landscapes. Watching nature miraculously turn seeds and sticks into flowers and fruit, palms and papayas, shade and sustenance;
Praise for them springing fresh from the Word!
Learning hands accessing I-university podcasts about economics, Eckhart Tolle, astronomy, engineering, history, biology, investment, natural healing, and goofy candid camera pranks. Learning by doing-to repair, to build, to manage problems by thinking outside-the-box;
You are the potter, I am the clay.
Praying hands, being fully present in this moment, clasped in the hands of family, expressing appreciation, security, comfort; feeling Christ through earthly hands held in love;
Where there is charity and unconditional love, there is God
Connecting hands gratefully in circles of friends - at our wedding, at our dining table, at our picnics on beaches, mountaintops, flower covered knolls, in churches, on roofs;
Any place was a good place to remember
No man is an island.
David's Values
Dad loved to make lists and to write down important things to remember. Here's a list we've started of some of his most important lessons and his values. Please feel free to add to our list if you are so inspired. This list is ongoing.
1. Be truthful
2. Be generous
3. Be gracious
4. Learn from all experiences, people and resources available in your life. David had a teachable spirit.
5. Be prepared and expect things to change. (Expect the best and plan for the worst).
6. Be flexible
7. Be open
8. Be extroverted, even if it's not your natural inclination, you'll experience a lot more.
9. Be helpful
10. There is a God. God is Love. Souls are eternal.
11. Be wise with your money and resources.
12. Don't complain, if you don't like something change it, change your mindset, or change your situation.
13. Don't gossip - no good ever comes from it.
14. Love thy neighbor, even the crazy ones.
15. This is your life, make of it what you will.
16. Be wary of government involvement.
17. Nobody wants to be in a hospital.
18. Family is the first priority and family includes blood relatives and ALL of your extended ohana (close friends).
19. Love yourself
20. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. Don't try to change others, all you can do is point them in the right direction for personal growth.
21. Your word is your bond.
22. Don't waste food.
23. Always stop for road side fruit or sweet corn stands.
24. Stand up for what is right.
25. Be strong and be peaceful.
26. Write lists.
27. Change your oil (maintain your vehicles and your tools).
28. Be loyal
29. Earn respect, give respect
30. Find a view, then take the time to enjoy it.
31. Take pleasure in sunsets, snow-capped mountains, cozy lodges, wide open skies, deserts, warm breezes, hot springs, starry skies, and the ulalena (light rains of Haiku).
1. Be truthful
2. Be generous
3. Be gracious
4. Learn from all experiences, people and resources available in your life. David had a teachable spirit.
5. Be prepared and expect things to change. (Expect the best and plan for the worst).
6. Be flexible
7. Be open
8. Be extroverted, even if it's not your natural inclination, you'll experience a lot more.
9. Be helpful
10. There is a God. God is Love. Souls are eternal.
11. Be wise with your money and resources.
12. Don't complain, if you don't like something change it, change your mindset, or change your situation.
13. Don't gossip - no good ever comes from it.
14. Love thy neighbor, even the crazy ones.
15. This is your life, make of it what you will.
16. Be wary of government involvement.
17. Nobody wants to be in a hospital.
18. Family is the first priority and family includes blood relatives and ALL of your extended ohana (close friends).
19. Love yourself
20. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. Don't try to change others, all you can do is point them in the right direction for personal growth.
21. Your word is your bond.
22. Don't waste food.
23. Always stop for road side fruit or sweet corn stands.
24. Stand up for what is right.
25. Be strong and be peaceful.
26. Write lists.
27. Change your oil (maintain your vehicles and your tools).
28. Be loyal
29. Earn respect, give respect
30. Find a view, then take the time to enjoy it.
31. Take pleasure in sunsets, snow-capped mountains, cozy lodges, wide open skies, deserts, warm breezes, hot springs, starry skies, and the ulalena (light rains of Haiku).
I've Seen Heaven and It Was In Your Eyes
I saw the light in your eyes. Was it in them or beyond them? Shining, sparkling. You smiled and sometimes you laughed. You held my hand, stroked my hair, held me tight and rocked me gently like you used to do when I was a baby.
You held mom's hand and will for eternity. You pulled Aaron close, held his hands and touched foreheads together. A transfer of love, of responsibility, of life.
I laughed, I smiled. I cried too, but mostly one look at your brilliance and I had to smile.
You were there, the place without pain, without nausea, without loss. You were there, bathing in joy. Your eyes showed me a glimpse of your new world. You were excited and ready, you wanted us to see that. To know where you were going.
I will miss you. I have been missing you. Guide me until I see you again.
*Katheryn
You held mom's hand and will for eternity. You pulled Aaron close, held his hands and touched foreheads together. A transfer of love, of responsibility, of life.
I laughed, I smiled. I cried too, but mostly one look at your brilliance and I had to smile.
You were there, the place without pain, without nausea, without loss. You were there, bathing in joy. Your eyes showed me a glimpse of your new world. You were excited and ready, you wanted us to see that. To know where you were going.
I will miss you. I have been missing you. Guide me until I see you again.
*Katheryn
Friday, September 11, 2009
Serenity
Aloha, thank you everyone! I feel your support.
David is composing himself internally, and is extremely sensitive to all vibes, sounds, music, people--so even visits from close friends or phone calls are not what he wants right now. He asked me to tell everyone we know he loves them now and always and not to take his quietness personally.
Feeling that someone needs him to do, or be, something makes him anxious. He asked me to do as much of the Hospice intake as possible without him - so Aaron, Katheryn, and I are keeping the house very peaceful and his space prayerful and gently supportive. He is most secure with Aaron when he is vomiting so Aaron stays close by even through the night with me.
I am still giving him IV with Zofran for nausea, and the pain seems controlled with morphine. When he is ready, we will reduce the hydration, now that Hospice is on board. We are grateful that Mike Brandt is here and helping in the background by cooking at Evey's house since David can't handle the smells.
Love to all, Shanna
Feeling that someone needs him to do, or be, something makes him anxious. He asked me to do as much of the Hospice intake as possible without him - so Aaron, Katheryn, and I are keeping the house very peaceful and his space prayerful and gently supportive. He is most secure with Aaron when he is vomiting so Aaron stays close by even through the night with me.
I am still giving him IV with Zofran for nausea, and the pain seems controlled with morphine. When he is ready, we will reduce the hydration, now that Hospice is on board. We are grateful that Mike Brandt is here and helping in the background by cooking at Evey's house since David can't handle the smells.
Love to all, Shanna
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Aye Eye Matey
Seth arrived on Sunday for a short visit. We celebrated last night with a full-on turkey dinner, thanksgiving-in-august extravaganza. We enjoyed each others company over stuffing and pumpkin pie. Unfortunately, Dad was not feeling up for the smells, sights, and sounds of dinner, so he stayed in the quiet of the room. At the moment, George, Seth, and Aaron are off hiking and swimming at Twin Falls.
Lately, David has had a sharp pain above his eye socket and it seems to be accompanied by double-vision and headaches. On the plus side, the massive swelling in his feet (picture hobbit feet, each looking like it weighs about 5 pounds) is completely gone and his feet are back to normal. David will be finishing the round of antibiotics for his staph infection this week and then we'll see what the next game plan will be.
To prevent his double-vision, David has begun to wear a black sweat band like an eye patch over one eye. His new accessory gives him quite the pirate air. Next, we'll see how he feels about a parrot for his shoulder.
Lately, David has had a sharp pain above his eye socket and it seems to be accompanied by double-vision and headaches. On the plus side, the massive swelling in his feet (picture hobbit feet, each looking like it weighs about 5 pounds) is completely gone and his feet are back to normal. David will be finishing the round of antibiotics for his staph infection this week and then we'll see what the next game plan will be.
To prevent his double-vision, David has begun to wear a black sweat band like an eye patch over one eye. His new accessory gives him quite the pirate air. Next, we'll see how he feels about a parrot for his shoulder.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Wacky Wednesday
On Sunday, George, Shanna, Andrea, David, and I attempted a trip to the beach. It was nice and sunny, but a constant blasting wind relentlessly battered us and kept us closer to the protection of the trees. David enjoyed sitting under the trees in a nice shady spot with the ocean in the distance.
Since then, David has been to the beach and to the doctor's office, but for the most part, when he is home, he tries to stay very quiet and still. His stomach continues to cause him a lot of trouble. Also, his eyesight is blurry sometimes.
Today, Mom and Aaron are getting dirty in the garden. I (Katheryn) really enjoyed my first day teaching ESL classes. I have 13 advanced students from 7 countries (Japan, Vietnam, China, Syria, Switzerland, Italy, and Korea), which makes for a really fun class. They love the diversity as much as I do.
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